Lentil soup

Place one package dried lentils in crockpot, cover in plenty of water or soup stock, add a few dried red chilis, and turn on low. If you want meat in it, add a ham bone or ham hocks.

When you get back from work before 4 or so, or when the lentils are soft a few hours later, finely chop an onion, a cup each of carrots and celery, 1 cup finely chopped spinach, and 2-6 cloves garlic. Saute in olive oil until soft. Add to lentils, and keep simmering on low. For meat eaters, add 1-2 cups chopped ham and remove soup bone.

****If you have to leave the house until 5 or 6, throw all the veggies and meat in with the lentils and simmer all day, don't bother sauting them. Just add more water or stock for the veggies to soak up. *****

About 1/2 hour before you eat, add several chopped tomatoes, 3 TBS dry red wine, 3 TBS lemon juice and 1 TBS molassas and1 tsp basil. Also add lots of black pepper and salt to taste-probably 1-2 tsps or so, depending on stock, ham, etc.

Let finish simmering, and serve with whole wheat bread and a salad, or a grilled cheese sandwhich with tomato, lettuce and avacado.

*****************
I am home today since my younger son Tom is 'sick'. He went trick or treating last night, and didn't have a very good time, since he didn't ask any friends to go and so had to go alone (with me). We came home with him grouching that it should not be on a week day when he can't go to his friend's in another town, and he drowned his sorrows in sugar. We did play a game together, and he was feeling better when he went to bed. But alas, overnight all the crap went through his system and he is paying for it today. Luckily he made the connection and said that was the last time he would hide his feelings in food.

SO I miss class (a quiz day) and had to move two appointments back to tomorrow. I hate doing that, but thus is the job of mom. Not like I would trade it or anything!

I am trying to get organized for Christmas. I am attempting to follow the flylady- www.flylady.com- but am having a hard time this year because of my schedule. I am out two days a week for school, and usually out another day with clients, then weekends were busy. The other two days I was trying to stop zoning out and get cleaning and catching up. Schedules are a lot easier to follow when your days are more consistant.

Schedules are very hard for me to keep up. Flylady has said again and again that it takes 27 days to start a new habit, good or bad. Why is it so hard to start and maintain a good habit, but so easy to start and maintain bad ones?

(Just got a call, and had to go pick up Nick from school, he was feeling sick as well. I suppose it was a good think I stayed home today after all. Maybe it wasn't the candy monster. )

I am always stalled at this point-Sitting in my home, trying to make a list for one thing -Christmas- then all the other things I have to do get in the way. I have a huge paper due in a month, two classes to study for, a presentation, trying to spend time with the kids, cleaning the house, spending time training the dogs (all 4 of them) clients, wintering the bees and chicken coop, (could I put the bee hive IN the chicken coop? :-O ) . Of, and I also agreed to write the newsletter for the NCFM-GNY (National Coalition of Free Men Greater NY) chapter. What was that sound daffy duck made when he would go bouncing off the walls? Silly me, what was I thinking.

Actually the news letter is the one thing I am really excited about. It is only once everyother month, and shouldn't take horribly long to put together. One article is already published for me to include, so I need to dig up a couple of other items and add some local interest things. I also will write a commentary as well. I was thinking of interviewing an author to add in. We will see. I think a week worth of nights after the kids go to bed would be plenty of time to get it done. It is, however due out in December, which is my really busy month, so I might need to schedule it in in bits of time.


SO, as you can see I get easily sidetracked. ;-)

Christmas. Today I will make my budget (HA me budget? Stranger things have happened!)I can't make a gift list until I know how much money I have to spend. That is my one chore today for Christmas.

Oh, and my new habit this year is not to call Christmas ~x-mas.

TBQ~

Irish Oatmeal

Irish Oatmeal

One and a half cups steal cut oats, or Irish oats if you can find them. I get them at Wegmans in the granola health food section.

Add lots of water and bring to a boil. When boiling, lower temp to simmer and cook for 45 minutes or so, keeping an eye on water level.

When the oats are chewy, add 1/2 cup of raisins, 1/4 cup sunflower seeds, 1 cup chopped or diced apples, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 cup maple syrup, and 1/4 tsp salt

Add a little more water if needed, and cook another 5 minutes.

Scoop into bowls, add milk or soy milk if you like, and more maple syrup to taste. Reheats really well. It is very good for those trying to lower their cholesterol.


I have to apologize to anyone reading this. My husband came home from school, we had a summer from heck, we got a new rescue dog, and now I am in school part time as well.

AHHH!

Seriously, I am juggling it all well so far. Tess is our new rescue. She is a 1 year old pit bull, who looks like she may have a little lab or boxer in her. She is the sweetest thing, a real snuggler, who learned to catch a 40 yard frisbee throw in 4 days. She has some stranger issues, due to being tied out in the yard for 6 months on a choke chain, next to the pizzaria, grocery store and bank. She had no hair on her neck, and a deep infection which took a 3 week course of antibiotics to clear. She wasn't house broken, so that has been a battle. We did take her to the Adirondacks last weekend, and she climbed her first high peak, Cascade. She did awesome, a couple of barking jags at people who suprised her, but nothing I couldn't get under control immediately-most people she just ignored. And, she did NOT pull me up and down the mountain. She was a real lady.

If anyone knows someone looking for a dog let me know! I am looking for a sports home for her, frisbee, maybe flyball or agility. SHe would make a great obedience dog, her heelwork is gorgeous.

Lets see, the bees are doing well, it is actually warming up today for th efirst time in weeks, so I may get to work them one more time before winter. I am a little worried because it was not a good goldenrod year apparently, and my bees are very new to their hive. If they do not get enough honey stored they will not survive. I am planning on insulating the hive with blue board insulation, so hopefully that will help.

The chickens are really good. I got two new ones this fall, Florish and Blotts. They are black banty cochins. They basically look like feather balls with heads, since their feet are feathered. The cool thing is that we went to the county fair to see the chickens, and my cochins would have cleaned house. So next year I may enter them in the fair. Flo and Blotts do not come when called since I got them as adults, but you can walk right over and pick them up-they are extremely tame. They stopped laying eggs after the daylight shortened up to under 12 hours. I really should have put in lights, but I don't really mind them not laying. Gonzo is still the little Napolean, taking after the 7 foot giant he is named after and taking no crap from anyone!

My husband has been warned by his doctor that he needs to get his cholesterol down more-he got it down from over 350 to below 200, but apparently his bad cholesterol is still too high. So, we sat down and talked about what needed to be done. I have tried to cook healthy for him, but then he goes out to lunch, supersizes everything, or goes to his families and eats porkrinds and curly fries out of the deepfryer, and gorges on too much meat and BBQed chicken, undoing all the healthy cooking. Or he downs an entire bag of chips or can of peanuts-he cannot eat small portions.

So I actually told him (I am not one for 'telling' him things, nor him for listening!) that if he wanted to get it down he had to listen to what I told him to eat. All the time, both in and out of the house. SO I researched cholesterol foods, and spent hours going through my vegitarian cookbooks to make a list of meals he could eat. Soy, flax, seeds, almonds, fish, whole grains, veggies, legumes, but no dairy, fatty meat, white flour, etc. Most of the recipes in my vegitarian cookbooks use lots of cheese and eggs.

I am trying to get to the big store more often so I can get the harder to find ingredients, like soy products. I am trying to plan my meals every week and stick to them, which is better for our budget as well. So this reallyis a good thing.

I just feel bad because I make the dog food now from scratch, and they get beef stew! My poor husband, jealous of the dog's food!

Anyways, I am also in school part time. I am taking psychology and honors forum. With the honors class i will be able to graduate with honors. I am doing my project on treating dog aggression with positive reinforcement training. I am using a client's German Shepherd as a case study. This dog scared the crap out of me at first, but after a few months I really like him. He and I now trust each other, and he is doing really well. The cool thing is that the owner is an old school method person, and did not believe any of this would work. She is noticing the dog's improvement, not only with me but with everyone. He is learning a new way of handling the world, and the weight is off his shoulders. I really enjoy working with him.

The kids, last but certainly not least, are great. Tom and I are taking Karate lessons, and having a fun time. We are both yellow tip white belts (that means we are very new at it) but are improving every class. I actually am getting definition in my abs, from doing so many sit ups- (yeah!) I can do 40 now. Tom is slimming up a bit as well, and seems to have more endurance, and energy. He rushes everything, but I think is starting to see that it is not a contest. He can do more push ups than I can the little bugger! He got high honors at school, 100 in science, lots of 90's and high 80s. We are very proud of him.

Nick is moving along at Nick pace. ;-) He passed everything, which we were happy with. His hair is really long, he is one of those kids who is naturally 'cool'-he just is, and the girls all watch him go by, and he ignores them completely. I am really lucky he is so shy-we would all be in trouble otherwise! Or maybe we are in worse trouble, since only the most aggressive girls will even talk to him. His drumming is coming along, he practices in fits -two hours one night, then three nights no practice, but again, that is Nick pace. He has been doing his model cars and all the same building stuff. He is 15 now-15! Boy do I feel old! He still is a nice kid too, he gets surly in the morning, ( of course so do we all) but I have not hearn him say he hates me yet. Of course he is supposed to, so maybe that isn't a good thing? That child will worry me until I die I think.

So, that is the latest. I will try to keep adding new stuff, sorry about the hiatus.

Sweet potato/ green bean pasties

Pie crust
1 cups flour (half white and half whole wheat works)
1/4 tsp salt
cut in 1/3 cup plus 1 TBS lard, shortening or margarine
add in ice cold water a TBS at a time until dough forms a ball but is not hard.

Filling
1/2 onion, minced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 TBS olive oil
1/2 tsp fresh ginger or 1/4 tsp dried
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tumeric
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1/4 tsp mustard powder
2 TBS water or stock
One large sweet potato cooked and mashed
1/2 cup cut green beans

Fry onion and garlic in oil, add in rest of ingredients, and cook 4-5 minutes on medium. Roll out 4 circles from pastry, and divide the filling among them. Use water on your finger to wet the edge of half of each circle, then fold dough over filling (the water will seal the dough together) and press the edge of the half circle with a fork all the way around. It will look like a big pierogi. Place on a baking tray, poke once with a fork, and glaze with milk or egg if you wish. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.

I always double this recipe, for it seems to not be enough for my family. I also have made these small, cutting the pie crust with a biscuit cutter and taken them to parties as a finger food and they are a huge hit, especially with some chutney to dip them in.


******

I have been thinking a lot about post marital sex. I swear it just kept coming up all weekend, how women just don't want sex after marriage, and men still do. Quite frankly it was pissing me off. It is a real problem, yet everyone seems to joke about it. Men tend to be flippant and dismissive about it, probably as a knee jerk reaction to the rejection they must feel. At the same time, women feel guilty and sad for the loss of something they once thought of as thrilling and special, and grumpy at the thought of being pressured.

It is a viscious cycle. The more we are pressured through jokes and guilt trips the less we feel like having sex, the more work is needed to get in the mood. The less we feel like having sex the more men feel rejected and the more flippant and blaming they get, and the less they try to get sex.

What is it that changed?

I do know that for many women the thing they like about the sexual expirience is the process. I used to tell my husband that the best forplay is a man doing the dishes. Women need to connect on an emotional level before they feel like having sex. They like the dance, the looks, the brief touches, the doing things for one another before they are in the mood. Men are the opposite. They use sex to feel close. Have sex with a man and you will find the man you are emotionally attracted to. When men have regular sex they feel connected and show it.

The disconnect comes when the sex slows for any reason, usually a baby. For a while the woman is fat, uncomfortable, and obsessed with motherhood. After the baby is born, the woman is no longer a woman, she is a mom. I cannot stress the change which occurs with this. It is vital it occurs to some extent for the child's sake, yet it is also vital the woman can go back to being a woman for the marriage's sake.

SO the disconnect happens. This is what happened in all the marriages I have seen. Husband gets home from work. The first thing he says is business like, "someone left something in the driveway" because if he doesn't say it then he will forget. She is now in defensive mode, the interaction has been set. Dinner is served, husband needs to go unwind, wife needs to get away from children, more disconnect. Kids go to bed.

Man may now be ready for sex. But the woman is in mom mode, and has not connected with the husband all day. She has no interest in sex.

I guess the ideal solution would be to just do it. Once started the problem takes care of itself. Unfortunately the men very often stop even trying at this point. Rejection is not easy to take, especially sexual rejection from your partner.

So she is not in the mood, he cannot take the extra step to start the process, both are tired, so they go to sleep.

Days go by. Weeks, months. That is life. We don't even see them slide by until we try to think when the last time we actually fooled around was.

It is heartbreaking. The most special thing two people can share, sitting right there for the taking, and we cannot reach out.

Add in the media constantly trying to fear monger and make us resentful of men, and you get a recipe for divorce.

We fear and covet sex. We label it evil and worship it at the same time. The dicotomy is such that a sexual woman and a married woman are incompatible. How many women cut their hair shortly after marriage? My friend just got married and chopped off her hair on the honeymoon. I guaruntee that she has no idea why she did it. But we are taught that once married, women must grow out of that dating sexual phase. Long hair is sexually attractive, and one of the easiest ways to visably change is to cut your hair.

I have other ideas on this, but they will have to wait for another day.

Tabouleh (or bowl o' fiber)

2 cups bulgar wheat
2 cups hot water
2 cups minced fresh parsley (3Tbs dried)
1/4 cup minced fresh mint (1 Tbs dried)
3 scallions minced
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tps cumin
2 chopped tomatoes
1 chopped cucumber
3 Tbs lemon juice
3 Tbs olive oil

****
romaine or other lettuce
****
In a bowl combine bulgar wheat and hot water. Let sit for 30 minutes. Add everything else but oil and mix well. Chill 1-2 hours, add oil, and serve on bed of lettuce as a salad, or plain as a side dish.Makes for a filling and really healthy lunch the next day.

My younger son Tom calls this bowl o' fiber, but he always has at least one big serving so I guess it is a compliment.

It has been a very busy couple of weeks. I went to camp two weeks ago, for the whole week. It was a dog camp at a farm dedicated to Border Collie rescue. Of course fuzzy butts aren't my thing, I like the short coated bull breeds myself, but the camp includes all kinds of dogs. I was teaching flyball, and had a very good week. I was busy, active, and had a schedule which meant I was very happy. I got a phenominal tan too! A week out of the house was great, I rebonded with the dogs which was really needed, and made some new friends and gt to spend time with some old ones.

It has been hard coming home, as the lack of schedule and adult company gets tough. I love my kids, but just as I cannot replace friends for them they cannot replace adult conversation.

However, I tried my best to stay busy this week. Tom started swim lessions, where in one clas he tripled his swim speed! Finally someone could explain the over arm stroke to him. My husband taught him the breast stroke, which is his favorite, but Tom is too young to do it well, so he just swam like a frog who ate too many lead pellets (Twain anyone?) We picked strawberries and I make over a dozen jars of jelly and have plently left over for other use. I have some frozen rhubarb, maybe I will try a strawberyy rhubarb crumble. I also found a recipe for s/r jam which looks good.

I have been working the bees too. I went to Jessies where my hive was on Thurs morning. He says *oh, your hive is so small we don't need a veil* so we open up my hive, check everything over. I have brood!!! Which proves there is a queen! You could look into the cells and see the little eggs, and on another frame the little larvae. Very exciting. My bees were of course very good natured.

We then open one of his hives to do some work. He has a colony he just split, which means he forced by crowding the laying of a second queen, then split the hive into two, one queen each. We located the new queen in the second hive, clipped her wing and painted her back blue for quick identification. So far so good. Until we got into original hive. the first frame we took out had the queen on it, and they were pissed. I walked away but several guard bees followed me and I got stung above the eyebrow.

All was ok, I calmed down, and I put the new frame of brood from his hive into my hive without gloves.
Well, that night I started swelling. By morning I couldn't open my eye at all! It looked like someone had clocked me! The funny thing is that not one person said a word to me all day. I got funny looks but no one asked. Dave says if he starts getting funny looks we will know what they were thinking.

Last night I brought my hive home, and set it up behind my garden. It looks very small, sitting under a tree in the tall grass, but I can kind of hide in the weeds and watch them go about their business. It was cool today but is supposed to get warmer, so i should see some good activity tomorrow.

I picked all the spinach, it was starting to bolt, and it amounted to one bag of frozen! Note to self~plant much more in the fall!

The peas are ripe..how I love fresh peas. I picked and froze two quarts, well, Tallulah the bull terrier and I ate as much as we froze! She loves her peas. Nick also ate probably another quart in the car on the way home.

We hit a barn sale and boy did I hit the jackpot! I found a huge old trunk in awesome condition, with leather good wood and velvet, all intact, and the names of to and from shipping on the top and sides. Can you believe only $25! I told her I was expecting her to say $200, and she looked disappointed. Of course I wouldn't have bought it either. Anyways, I also found 3 really unique insulators from power lines, 5 old cigar boxes for my collection, and a stack of schoolbooks from the late 1800's early 1900s. $45 bucks for everything. Oh, and a cute little milking stool and a pair of cow horns. I love barn sales.

My dining room looks awesome. It is pumpkin orange, with a back area rug filled with brightly colored designs of grape vines, birds, flowers. On the window ledges and sills I put all the stuff we find on hikes and walks~ rocks, feathers, snake skins, leaves, pine cones, bird eggshells, snail shells, plus old bottles and a couple of small wooded boxes shaped like birds. I have some photos i took of our last hike in the Adirondacks, all mushrooms, close up. They look like little scenes. I think I will frame them in black. The fish tank does not clash like I thought it might. The room went a different direction than I thought, but it is a good one.

I have been thinking a lot about what makes people happy. Are the things that you do out of habit making you happy, or are they filling a void, or putting off dealing with feared knowns. As I surround myself with things that make me happy, I still cling to old habits which do not.

It is easier to live in the internet than to interact with my neighbors. If I stayed off-line I could walk next door and invite one of the neighbors over for tea. I met a new neighbor who invited me to stop by, and I haven't. Why the heck not? She seemed very nice, and right up my alley (she said ~give me a mud hole and I am happy).

I really think that the internet is a double edged sword. I am lonely during the day, but pacifying myself with cyber conversation makes me reclusive. Maybe if I tried harder to make good conversation with Nick he would learn to converse more as opposed to talking at me about cars and stuff. And if I get off-line more I could take longer walks with Tom, which we both enjoy.

So I guess the lesson is too much of anything is bad, moderation is good. Gee, and less fat and more whole grains and veggies is good for you too, right? Why does it take so long for the simplest messages to sink in?

BQ's raspberry/honey scones

BQ's raspberry honey scones

2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup butter
1 cup frozen rasberries
1 cup milk
1/4 cup honey
extra flour

Stir together dry ingredients, cut in butter, throw in rasberries and cut up with a pastry cutter (or chop before you throw them in). Stir together milk and honey, then add to dry ingredients, stir until blended, and add enough flour so it is not real sticky. Roll into a 7 inch circle, place on greased baking pan, and cut into 6 or 8 slices. Pull the slices away from each other a little, and bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Check, you may need to bake another 5 or 10 minutes, depending on how thick you rolled the dough.

Eat them hot, with honey poured over the tops, although they do taste good later too. I have a lot of honey right now.

I have been painting my dining room. I hung the color up for a month, decided it was time, and started ripping wallpaper(well, I started a month ago, but time gets away.) Now I have half of it done. It is ORANGE! Well, actually a harvest russet, more brown than reddish tones, but it is bright. Dave likes it, and it makes me happy looking at it. I really like bright colors. The only problem is that our kitchen is painted a dark green, so if you stand looking through to the kitchen it is pretty hidious! Darn, I guess that means i am painting the kitchen next! I have a great yellow already picked out, and it looks really good with the orange.

My dad is coming tomorrow to watch the kids for the week while I am at camp. I am so not ready! Well, I am ready for camp, I am not ready for my dad to visit! I know what I am doing tomorrow, uber clean/finish painting.

I had intents of posting some thoughts, but I think i am heading to bed. I will try again tomorrow night.

A cold can of beer

Take one can Milwalkees Best out of fridge.

Open can.

Sit down and put your feet up.

Drink.

Repeat until unable to get to the fridge.

It has been a very long three days. Monday Uncle Bill and his friend Art came over to get the bees out of the wall. For those who don't know, we had an active hive living in the wall of our house. We chose to let them winter over, and get them out in the spring. So anyways. Uncle Bill and Art get the frames ready, set up the scaffolding over the staircase where they are, we suit up, and start taking down wall.

It is smoky, due to smoking the bees to keep them calm. They take out about a three foot long and one stud width wide section of wall, and find bees and comb. So we take out all the comb, set it into frames, and place the frames in the hive body. There was tons of honey, no brood at all (babies), which meant no queen. So we take the hive body outside, place a queen cell (a piece of comb containing a new queen, which looks like a peanut) into the hive and close it up. There are some bees upstairs, but they tell me to get a paper bag after dark and sweep them all into it, then pour them in the hive body.

Mind you it is about 90 degrees and they drank probably a twelve pack while doing the job.

So off they go.

Forward to 10 o'clock that night. I get the paper bag, I suit up, and head up to the hole in the wall. The bees are clumped together, about a softball sized clump, I think Oh good, this should be fine. I get the bag up there, put the brush above the clump and sweep down. OH MY GOD! They start just this high pitched humming and start flying out at me. They DO NOT just fall in the bag. They ARE NOT happy at all. Then I get stung on the leg. The guy at the store says I would be safe in jeans. My heart is in my throat, my adrenaline is pumping, and I just want to run. I carefully close the bag, step off the scaffolding, and walk down the stairs, bees screaming in my ears(luckily the jacket/veil worked!) I dump the bees into the hive, and walk away. I just want to run shrieking but I know I cant. I wait until all the bees leave me and go in the house.

I couldn't go back for 3 hours. I was so scared! Finally at 1 am, after watching a movie with my brother in law, I thought I have to go back. If I don't I will never do it. So I made a batch of sugar water, which I saw in a video is supposed to calm the bees, suit up with snow pants and the jacket/veil, and go back. I took an old window screen, covered up the opening and sprayed them through the screen. Then I took the bag and tried again. they fell right in, no problems. A few were flying around, but they were much better. So I went outside, emptied the bees into the hive, and went to bed, feeling very proud of myself.

The next morning they are all back! I got out my vacuum and sucked up enough so I could see what was happening. There were half inch grooves along the back to the wall, and they were waking into the next stud section. I pounded on the wall and put my ear up, and sure enough I could hear them. Over the next two days i tore out 3 more sections, two with full comb and one with just bees. I finally today got all the comb cleared out, and there was a huge wad of bees up in the joist. Since today we borrowed a veil for Steve, we went up with a paper back and a scraper. We soaked the daylights out of the bees, put the paper bag up, and Steve scraped while I held the bag. We got about 2 pounds of bees out. We closed it up, poured it into the hive, and sealed the hive up. We packed it up and took it 5 miles down the road to a bee keeper, who will let them stay for 2 weeks. If they live we will bring them back here.

I had to kill the rest of the bees tonight ;-( They would have died anyways, and I can't find and plug up the hole until I cleared them out. I really hated doing that. If I ever need to do this again I am buying a bee vacuum so I can get them all alive.


I have strained 3 pints of honey from the first day, and there is about 30 more pounds to process.

I only got stung 3 times, once a day. One in the leg, through the jeans, one crawled up my pantleg, and one got me on the finger through the glove.

I am not afraid of bees anymore.

I also went to the local bee keeping association meeting monday night. What a riot they all are. All have at leat 20 years on me, and they were picking on each other the whole time. The President says "Any old bills?" And they all point to a guy named Bill. Every time they would have a vote they would say "All in favor -aye" then one guy would point to me and say "Jen says no." I really liked everyone, and they had lots of advice for me. They seem like a very knowledgeable but accessable bunch.

Next week is a dog camp, I teach flyball for 4 days. My dad is coming to watch the kids. Dave is coming home Friday. My house is torn apart, the hallway is a wreck, the dining room is still in the process of getting the wallpaper out and painted. The whole house really needs a cleaning since I have been a little preoccupied.

AHHH!

So of course I start cleaning the garage tonight (?) Yeah, I know, Makes no sense. But that is me.


So, deep thoughts. A well? The Grand Canyon? The ocean?

That's about as deep as I am getting tonight.

Gazpacho

In a big jug throw in

4 cups tomato juice or V8
1 diced onion
1 diced green pepper
1 diced cucumber
3 diced tomatoes
5 or more cloves crushed garlic
a tablespoon terragon
a tablespoon basil
1/4 -1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
3 tablespoons lime juice
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon honey
salt and pepper

Stir and chill a few hours.

We had it tonight with BLTs, very good. If the avocados hadn't gone bad we would have had chips and guac too.


My garden is so much work! Wow. I was out there half the day. I rototilled a section which had tried to go back to grass, and started double digging it, and sifting the top layer. The soil is just marvelous afterwards, but it is slow, back breaking work. I also hilled the blue potatoes with sifted compost from the old manure pile from the former owner's horses. The grass to the pile was waist high, so i had to try and carve a path for the wheel barrow. Of course when I started digging up the compost I disturbed not one but two ant nests, so I had to keep brushing off ants from my hands as i was pushing the dirt through the screen. My legs are all scratched now from the bedstraw and saw grass, in fact there is actually the imprint of a leaf on one leg in red dots! Took tow full loads for the potatoes, but I am hoping it is worth it. The soil is rich and loose, so the spuds should be big and easy to harvest.

We had fresh spinach last night! Yum.

My chickens are getting huge. They should start laying any time now. The banty rooster is the tamest, the three large hens are just pissers, they were going after Jack, my dal mix today. He just ran away and tried to circle back behind me! Poor guy.

I got my bee keeping equiptment. I wimped out, and decided instead of the chinzy little veil that came with the kit to buy a good study jacket with zippered hood. I do not want to get stung! I got gloves, a smoker, a hive tool and a hive body with frames and plasticell. I have to build the hive body, as it comes unassembled, then we will be ready to pull the bees out of the wall. I am very excited and a little afraid.

Last Friday I went to an elemetary school and made four 'speeches' about being a dog trainer. I brought Jack and Llyan, and they were great. I told the kids what I did for a job, then showed them with Llyan what I teach the dogs. Then I got Jack and talked about sports, and we did a little frisbee, in a 3X 6 foot space! Then we spoke about how to approach a dog, using Tom as my assistant. He decided to rebel, so when I asked him if his dogs were nice, he said "No, their viscious." in a dead pan voice. I said "may I pet your dogs?" He said, "No, their viscious." Well. So I tried again. "What are their names?" " Rip and Fang" he says! Oh the little bugger! Well, he finally gave up being the smart alek, and decided to cooperate. The kid laughed about it, as did I. Other than that little bump it went awesome. Tom was a big help, the dogs were very well behaved, and the kids were great, which means I hit the right combination of info and fun. We had exactly the right amount of time for each speech. I love it when things go that good!

I am hoping I can get more gigs doing this. The SPCA has been putting it out there as an outreach program. I really enjoy it, and I think it does good. It is much better than going to the spca, where I am always wanting to take home another dog (NOT something I need!)

Saturday Jack and I and Tom went to a frisbee tourney about an hour away. My throws sucked, so we only came in third, but we had a god time. Poor Tom was bored, so we spent the rest of the day doing fun stuff.

I wrote about Greg, Andrew and Steve coming over. Steve stayed another day, we went to the lake with the kids. I took Tallulah the Bull Terrier, and she tried on her new life vest (she cannot swim). She wouldn't go in at first past her armpits. She did, however, love chasing the waves from the boats., I finally let her off leash and she ripped up and down the shore, trying to bit the white waves. After an hour, with a 20 minute break in her crate, she actually started to swim on her own. She would take a big lunge, and squit up her face and start swimming! I was very proud, as she has sunk to the bottom before and it must have been very scary.

When Lou was in her crate I hung out with the boys and skipped rocks and swam. Tom got cut on the zebra mussels but was pretty calm about it. I had stuff in the car, so we band-aided it. Nick found lots of snail eggs and mussels to bring home and add to his 2 gallon lake tank. Last year when he started it he ended up with fish eggs and now has two fish in there. We stopped for ice cream-aww man did that hit the spot, the first cone of the season!

Sunday night Tom had absolute meltdown, missing dad, bawling his eyes out. I called Dave and told him, figuring I would find out the day he was coming back and it would make Tom feel better. Well, sure enough the next morning in pulls Dave, who got up early and drove 5 hours back for Tom! Tom was so excited he didn't know what to do. I had to tell him to go hug his dad, because he just stood there and stared at him, not believing he came home early. Dave actually played Clue with us tonight, (he hates board games with a passion) - Tom has been milking this for all it is worth.

Well, there is nothing deep tonight. I am sore and exhausted and am going to bed. G-night!

Breakfast Burritos

Either buy or make flour tortillas, and warm them if you like-I make mine because I like thick flour wraps. There are flavored tortillas which work really well for this, especially the spicy ones. Figure two for each person if they are really hungry.
The most basic form is scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and salsa. Wrap in tortilla.

To wrap a tortilla, place enough filling that it take up the space of a dollar bill on a salad plate, the long side of the filling facing you, the short ends to either side. It won't look like enough filling, but you need the extra tortilla space to wrap it. You are going to make an envelope shape. Fold the short side ends inwards. Holding the short ends down with your index fingers palms down, use your thumbs to fold one long end up over the top of the filling, so it looks like an envelope with filling in it. Holding that down, close down the flap of the envelope.

Serve with good coffee or tea, V8 or OJ.

The possibilities for fillings:
Guacamole (tons of it, mmmm!)
Sour cream
diced red and or green peppers
diced tomatoes
diced avocados
lettuce
bacon
sausage
diced black olives
diced green chilis

This makes a great 'day after the big party' breakfast. You can chop all the veggies and grate the cheese the day before, put them out in bowls or a big platter. Figure two eggs and two slices bacon per person, and a two spoonfuls of each topping for two burritos per person. Make each to order, or what we do is use our large japanese grill top and fry up a pound of bacon and a dozen eggs all at once and everyone builds their own. You could also fry up everything in batches and keep in the oven on low to keep it warm until everything is ready.

Last night Dave's cousins Greg and Andrew and his brother Steve came by. It was really cool because Dave is still gone to school, I miss him and we were all bored. We were planning to just have another night with the three of us, but the boys are getting on each others nerves lately. We watched Timeline first, Tom really like that movie, it is a more little violent than I like, but I really like the emphasis on history and archeology, which I think he would do well in.

We then sent poor Tom to be and watch Reign of Fire. What a crappy movie. I want two things from this movie. One, to see more dragons, and two, to see Vin instead of Matt McCaunaghy. Matt just didn't cut it for the bald, wise crackin' kick butt American. He looked ripped, but even with muscles he lacked the breadth of shoulder and natural grace of Vin, and his nasally voice just didn't work. The dragons were so cool, but you hardly saw them. They probably ran out of money, spending it all on propane to get the fire effects. If there had been more Dragons, I would have really liked the movie, even if the premise was lame and the acting mediocre.

Well after Nick went to bed we all started talking about Nick and how he is growing up, and how terrified I am that he will end up getting into trouble. It was interesting, because Andrew is in college, and felt his parents were extremely over protective. But he is a great kid and never got into the kind of trouble I did, and that I fear Nick will face. So which is the way to go-protect your child but have them resent you, or let them go and risk them getting into trouble? Andrew, being the intelligent one, says that there has to be some middle ground. I agreed, and told him so. He thinks that you teach the basics, and trust the kid, but I think that you need to also monitor things.

But what if you don't trust your ability to teach the basics? It isn't that I don't trust Nick, he has been very trustworthy, and certainly is far more self assured than I was. I don't trust my parenting. It took me a lot of years to get to where I feel I am a good parent, but all those mistakes were made on Nick. Is admitting I made the mistakes and trying to be better enough? Is there anything more I could do even if I wanted?

I also really want to screen him from a lot of this stuff for a few more years. I can't help but feel like if I can give him another 2 years to mature before he has to face these choices, that he will be better prepared to make good choices.

The other thing is that I do not trust other kids. Some of the things his friends tell me they have watched just makes me very uncomfortable. The Blade movies, Matrix 2 and 3, Resident Evil, etc. I think if the parents or grandparents don't monitor the things their kids watch, what else are they not monitoring? I just keep telling Nick to come here with his friends, and that way someone is around. I know they will get away with some things, but if I can keep them from having the space or time to have sex or do drugs, hen I am ahead of the game.

We have to have the sex talk with Nick. I gave him a book so he knows the basics, but we need to actually discuss the realities of sex-pregnancy, stds, false allegations, etc, plus reasons to wait. Dave says he will do it, but he is procrastinating as much as I am. We have spoken about drug use a lot, so I think he understands the realities of that whole thing. I will keep talking about it though.

Anyone have any sex talk stories?

My mom gave me a pamphlet on periods and said if I ever wanted to talk....Yeah right. She never explained sex, never talked about waiting, birth control, how to say no, nothing. I don't think she was abnormal for that generation, but it would have been nice to have some extra information to go on.

Curried spinach and tomatoes

Wash and chop a large bag of fresh spinach, or use a normal sized package of frozen spinach. Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a pan, and cook the spinach on meduim with a lid until it is wilted and dark green. Place in a bowl and set aside. Put another 2 tablespoons olive oil in the pan and add 2-6 cloves garlic, 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper and 2 teaspoons curry powder. ***Note, curry powder you buy in stores has no curry leaves in it. This recipe used store bought curry powder which is really cumin, tumeric, cloves, etc. I have yet to find curry leaves in this area****
When garlic starts to brown add the spinach and 2 med/large chopped tomatoes. Add salt and pepper. Cook until heated through and tomatoes soften, serve with Indian Potatoes and pita and hummus.

To add protien you can cook separately 1/2 cup chana dal or yellow split peas according to package directions, (40 minutes closed lid in lots of water), and add in last step. If you like you can add some of the cooking water to the mix and make more of a soup, adding in more salt and pepper and maybe a chicken bullion cube.




I am having a bit of a conundrum. Another board I am on has someone who keeps airing a particular opinion which not only I strongly disagree with but find quite frankly somewhat offensive. The offensive bit is MY problem, not hers. Here is the thing. I have made it clear that I disagree with her, and why. She chooses to continue to keep repeating herself, simply using more words each time but no better arguement and it is clear she is not only not going to change her mind but is not going to drop it.

I chose today to drop it, and she still went on to post a huge page restating what I had just argued. I did not answer.

It seems like no matter what I talk about, she finds a way to manipulate the converstaion into this area, where she again repeats her theories.

Do I simply walk away? Not go to that board anymore?

Do I ignore posts she makes with these theories in it?

Do I start saying Banana after every post she responds to me where this is started again? (It is working with the kids)

I worry because this board is important to me, and the things she is saying do find their way out to cause us all to be judged by her words.

I personally think she has just been trying to annoy me, and it was working. Not any more.


I think NYMOM, that while your reasons are different from mine, you may be right. Maybe it is time for me to leave there.

I also will say that any discussion of that topic itself is banned from here, because it is my blog and I am sick of hearing about it. That is the cool thing about having your own blog!

(I will never ban someone who disagrees with something I post here. Since I will never post that theory here, I will never have to argue it. I choose not to even bother wasting my time arguing it if it is presented by someone else here. No one but this woman would even think of such an out-there theory, so I am pretty safe!)

And no names please for those of you who know who I am talking about.

My husband thinks I should just leave. He is usually right about these things.

Indian potatoes

Cube 4 very large, or six medium or eight small potatoes in to half inch cubes. In a huge frying pan heat six tablespoons olive oil to meduim, start to fry 4 dried chilis and a tablespoon black mustard seeds (yellow will do in a pinch). When the seeds start to darken, add 2-6 cloves crushed garlic, a tablespoon chana dal and a tablespoon urad dal (dals are indian for split peas, if you cannot find these use just a tbsp of dried yellow split peas.) Keep frying until the dals are golden. Add all the potatoes, salt and pepper to taste, and scraping up all the goodies on the bottom of the pan keep mixing until the potatoes are coated with oil and seasoning. Cover and let cook, using a metal flipper to scrape the potoatoes off the bottom and mix them about every 5-8 minutes. It should only take 20 minutes or so for the potatoes to be cooked, they should get soft and browned on the outside. Taste one to see if it is ready. Serve with a green salad and curried spinach and tomatoes, which I will post tomorrrow.

Today we went for two long walks up in the hills behind out property. We found trails, and walked probably 2 miles each walk. I made sure to stretch my ankle each time, and it felt fine, although it got very tired after the second walk. Tom loved it, he took his sword and hacked any undergrowth which got in our way. It was really cute, he got on his blog and wrote about protecting the biscuit queen! It was a beautiful day, just the right temp, and not too many bugs out yet. We saw several rabbits, startled a herd of deer (they are noisy and huge up close with no windshield to separate you!) and found beautiful flowers ~mallows, ranunculous, hawthorn,
and apple.

Tom has a grand plan to walk to my friend's home in a city 90 miles away. He thinks if we walk 10 hours a day, and camp at night, we can make it in 3 days. I thought a trip to the hardware store first would be in order, 4 miles away. He has big dreams, that one.


Nick had a dentist appointment and I had a half an hour wait. They had Cosmopolitan on the table, so being curious and cynical after the last two movie expiriences I had I started reading it. Now this is a family dentist's office, where many times moms make appointments with their kids. How many times have I been in the chair when my kids were out in the waiting room reading?

There was 10 secrets how to wow him in bed, how to give a good tongue bath, a story, with illustrations, on how the vagina worked and how it could expand to accomodate any size penis, vaginal farts, is spit a good lubricant? and there were several explicit erotic stories, plus the usual array of half dressed models, rape scare articles (if you storm off mad it could be the last thing you do), and consumerism.

Now if grown women want to buy this drivel then go right ahead, but in the dentists office? And since many of these topics are sexual, shouldn't this be in a brown wrapper on the top shelf? They might as well put Playboy out, because there was no content difference.

I have an appointment next week and I think I am going to bring the issue up front with one of the inappropriate articles out. I am betting that a single woman brought that in, and no one else has read it.

Or maybe no one cares?

Has anyone read Dr James Dobsen's Raising Boys? He talks about the pressures facing boys today, including the rampant sexual culture and relative morality. I sit here terrified because I have already seen everything he spoke about. I have been writing about it and doing things about it (like killing the tv), but to see it all laid out in one book like that just makes the task of raising my boys seem so difficult. He does give great pointers on how to handle things though.

I have decided to start saying grace at meals (part of the solution). Tonight I ate after the boys because I had clients over. So I say down by myself and started to say grace. Tom asked me what I was doing and I told him. He actually asked me what is he supposed to believe, since there is death, disease, sickness and pain. Why is God so great if all those exist? ! Wow. I told him I asked those same questions at his age, and my parents said "because I said so" and "You do too believe in God". Oh, THAT changed things-not!

I talked a little about how bad things must exist or we wouldn't appreciate the good. I also mentioned how free will means there will be bad things. But I just didn't know how to answer well. He asked how I knew those things and i said i read a lot and observed what went on around me. I told him we will have to go ask the priest, that is what he is there for. I will be interested to see what he says. Tom was very mature about it, I was impressed.

What do you think about faith? Are anyone of you guys religious? I used to think that religious was brain washing, I was a complete athiest in the college years, but the older I get the more I believe. Is raising healthy, responsible children who feel they have a meaningful life possible without faith in a higher being?

How do you start talking about faith, even within your own family, without embarrassment? My family went to church every Sunday, said Grace at every dinner, and said the children's prayer every night, but we lived without faith. These were rote mechinations which labeled us good Catholics, but we never talked about God. To this day I am embarrassed to bring up God because i feel I am shoving my faith down other people's throats. Even now I wonder if the few who come here will run since I brought up God.

It is sad that we can feel comfortable with the kind of message that Cosmopolitan delivers, yet to speak of saying grace is an embarrassment.

biscuits n honey

Sift together two cups unbleached white flour, 1 tablespooon baking powder, a pinch of baking soda, and half a teaspoon salt in a bowl. Cut in 1/4 cup cold butter, margarine or bacon fat. Add one cup milk, and mix thoroughly. Add in enough flour, a handful at a time, until you can knead the dough without it sticking too bad to your fingers. Roll out the dough to about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thickness, and using a biscuit cutter, a glass, or a jelly jar lid cut into rounds and place touching in a buttered pan. You should get between 9 and 12 biscuits, depending on how thick the dough and how big the circle. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes, and check. You may need to bake longer, until the top is golden. Cut in half and spread fresh honey on each half.

You can substitute whole wheat for up to half the flour, although I would make it white first then add a bit more wheat next time. You can also add in a tsp of herbs like rosemary or thyme.

I have a little rant tonight, about last night's movie, and the one I watched tonight. I din't want to go to bed angry, so I waited until tonight, when Dave was gone.

In the theater last night, there were 10-I counted out loud-10 commercials. Cars, shoes, soda, and one decent one about family. However, I cut out TV in this house precisely because I did not want the influence of commercialism in our home. I did NOT appreciate paying over 40 dollars for a movie only to have to watch commercials. And of course several of them were making the man look like an idiot.

Next came the previews. First let me say that Narnia looks AWESOME! I cried watching the preview! OMG! I cannot wait until December-I am so excited. Oh, and the fantastic four? So cool!

Anyways, I am there with my children, ages 9 and 14 to see Star Wars, a pg 13 film. While the rating was pg 13, the movie is advertized for kids, at fast food restaurants, toys stores, and on TV. So imagine my disgust when the preview for Mr and Mrs Smith comes on. A story about two secret agents who are married but are unaware that the other is an agent, who are each paid to kill the other. So amid snitches of bullet riddle rooms, explosions and action there are steamy bedroom shots. NOT what I really want my kids to see.

But wait, it gets better. The last movie is the Wedding Crashers. Guess what that movie is about? Two guys who crash weddings so they can con women into sleeping with them. Not only do they show the guys using lines like "I will play mr balloon animal and you dance with the flower girl" but they then show each woman first smiling at the guy, then falling down on a bed in panties and a bra. One girl even said it was her first time, and that she loved the guy.

Now most likely the guys will have a change of heart, admit they were wrong and settle down, but quite frankly I don't care. What were they thinking? I wanted to hold my kid ears and tell them to shut their eyes. They did not need to see that stuff. Why the heck do people wonder at the sexual activity of teens when we have shoved sex down their throats since they were little. I am reading Raising Boys by Dr Dobsen, and he sites that the average kid will be exposed to over 800,000 sexual images per year!

I am afraid to take my kid anywhere!

But then it gets worse. I am home tonight, and the kids want to watch Sky Captain. I hadn't seen it yet. We sit down, and we cannot fast forward through the previews. So we watch them. Now Sky Captain is only PG. Yet the preview for Without a Paddle, rated PG -13 for drug content, sexual material, language, crude humor and some violence. Which they showed something of each on the preview, including three almost naked men trying to keep warm but playing suggestive music to make it look like they were gay.

What is wrong with people? Am I the only one who thinks that if the movie is PG, then only PG previews should be shown? And since when is a woman falling into a con mans bed almost naked, or a wife trying to shoot her husband in the head appropriate for all audiences? These people are not stupid. They know that kids will be at these movies. They suck us in with an appropriate movie then while they have us stuck subject our kids to material which clearly should not have been approved for all audiences.

I refuse to go to that theatre again. I will be writing the company and telling then why, for all the good it will do me. I also will not let my kids watch the previews at home until I have seen them. Is money so important that they are willing to risk our kids? And i do believe that every image makes an impression. I personally think that we have become so immune to the onslaught of television, with the sex, violence and the hard sell that most people cannot see it. But turn off your tv for a year. It is like taking off the blinders. I am so shocked at the audacity of the media now that i am not numbed by it. I am embarrassed that nothing is sacred anymore.

Fried egg sandwiches and Star Wars spoilers.

In butter or oil fry one egg for each sandwich, breaking the yolk and frying until the yolk is solid. Place on white or sour dough bread, add ketchup or Red Hot, and have at it with a glass of V8 or orange juice. Makes a great breakfast. You could add bacon, salsa, guacamole, cheese, ring balony or sausage if you wanted. I just like them plain myself.

We just went to see the third Star Wars. This will be full of spoilers, so if you don't want the movie to be spoiled, step away from the keyboard. I wasn't going to see it but my husband wanted to see it for the third time. It was WAY better than I thought it would be. Anakin/ - and not to spoil it or anything-/Darth Vader, was as always a horrendous actor. The kid just needs to find a new career or something. He is no Vin Deisal, where his outstanding physical presence makes up for his lack of brilliance in other areas. Of course Dave tells me that Luke was just as bad in the first three, which I of course denied adamently. The first three were untouchable. (I say this as I am plugging my ears and yelling LALALA!)

Of course LucASSs horrible writing did not help. But this time you felt is was meshing the two series together, it was really cool to hear the old Vader music creep in, and see the storm troopers looking very, well, storm trooperish, and watch Padme start to look more like Liea. I still miss muppet Yoda, CG Yoda just isn't the same. The transformation that Anikin makes is very believable, even though you just wack your forehead at his gullibility. The whole laying on the lava beach burnt to a crisp was...yuck! I kept waiting for him to say "It's just a flesh wound...come over here and I'll bite your leg off!"

The only real complaint? What is up with the NOOOOOO! at the end? CHEESE! Sometimes you wonder if the editors ever really watch the movie.

The critter that Obi Wan rides on one world looks like an iguana with a bird head, and it can MOVE! Way cool. Chewy was really neat to see too. And General Grievious? All I can say is wow! Four light sabers! He was so COOL! By far the best bad guy they have come up with in the second three.

Well, the hubby came home this weekend, and is probably getting impatient that I am up writing instead of going to bed.

So g-night.

Quick and Sleazy Italian

This one is a made up dish that is never the same twice in a row. All measurements are approximate, as I don't really measure all the time!

Put a large pot of water to boil. Take about a third of a cup of good olive oil in a skillet, and add 2-6 cloves crushed garlic, 1/2 tsp basil, 1/4 tsp oregano, salt and pepper. Saute on medium until garlic is starting to brown, and remove from heat. When water is boiling, add 4 servings worth of pasta, and cook to package directions. When done, drain (don't shake every ounce of water off the pasta, just let it fall off) and put in a big bowl. Pour the oil over the top, smother in parmasan, and serve.

If you want to get creative, you can add in some or all of the following to the oil after the garlic:
Dried whole chilis
black olives
sun dried tomatoes
capers
artichoke hearts, canned or cooked
garbanzo beans
shrimp
scallops
good hot italian sausage
veggies like fresh green beans, broccoli florets, red peppers

Just saute all the other ingredients with the garlic & oil until everything is cooked the way you like it. If you have any other ideas, please post them.

Last night I went to a bachelorette party for a new friend of mine. My old friend (who is in the party) and I went into Spencers gifts, the novelty shop, for some stuff to dress up the bride to be in. Oh my! Some of the stuff in there was just too much! There was a pinata shaped like, well, a guy part, and the clerk had a mechanical chihuaha humping his leg when he asked us if we needed help! I had no idea they could sell that stuff at the mall.

Everyone met and we went to a Thai place, which was awesome, if you have never had a Thai iced tea you are missing out. Spicy black tea with heavy cream, yum! I had squid in coconut milk, lemon grass and red curry, very good.

We then went to an adult bookstore next which made Spencers look like church. We each bought the bride to be several small novelty gifts and wandered around learning just how many ways there is to duplicate the female anatomy, and how many things I have never tried in my life! I think my favorite was the swing, which looked like an adult sized velvet Johnny jumper! I found a blow-up sheep with the same name as the bride, and she blew it up in the parking lot and carried it for the rest of the night.

We then went out dancing, which was stupid of me to do because of my ankle. I was doing fine until 'Irene' came on, you know that 80's song, where the video had everyone in a irish village dancing around? Then of course I had to dance, and I just love to dance, so....I am icing it tonight. I played pool, danced my head off, drank too much, got home around 1, to bed by 2.

Today we went to see a play with the kids "Wayside School" based on the books. What riot! They were a young group and had to use several people for more than one character, but it was extremely well done. The kids loved it, except for when the Tango teacher walked up into the audience and wrapped her boa around my 14 year old, insanely shy son's neck! I thought he was going to melt into the floor!

Anyways, I had all these thoughts on what to write tonight, but I suddenly changed my mind. Impromptue, just like my cooking!

One of the women who came to the bachelorette party is someone I disliked. She and her husband rub me the wrong way (he gives me the creeps too). I was dreading the whole thing, but know we needed to do this, and since I really like the bride( and my best friend is in the party) I wanted to go. Well, this woman was fine all night. I really enjoyed her company, even though she is the same one who is toxic to all who know her. She was on good behavior, and in doing so was bright, funny, and had good ideas.

My husband at the same time went hiking with her husband, and everyone else who was going was nervous that the husband was out of shape and couldn't do it, but insisted on coming anyways. And while he did not manage the whole day, he did do one peak with little complaining, and well enough that my husband was impressed at his tenacity.

Now I have learned to push away toxic people in my life. If people cause me stress, I cannot trust them, or they lead me towards bad places, I tend to cut them out of my life. I had to do this. But now I am at a point where I don't allow people like that to effect me so deeply. I can take what there is positive from these people and hold the rest at arm's length.

My question is, are these people put there for a reason, and is cutting them out completely going agianst the geater plan? Can you learn from people and enjoy their company while holding them at arms length so as not to get burned? Or is it not worth it? Is life to short to waste it on people who always end up hurting you or those you love.
***
I went to a dog camp a few years ago, where I was teaching frisbee. The dance instructor within 10 minutes of meeting me said something so insulting that the only thing I could think to say was "ouch". I didn't say another word to her for the rest of the night. The next morning she apologized to me (because of how I handled the night before), and even though she was horrible to others, she was great to me, and I learned so much from her. Is this someone I want to hold close to me? No way. Is this someone who had a lot to teach me? Yes.
***
So, how do you accept people as they are without letting their bad traits effect you? Are you using people by sharing their company for your own pleasure or education? Or if you treat it like a normal friendship with caution, are you giving back enough to make it equal?

My greatest failing is that I am critical. I try so hard not to be, but I am. So is this an issue of me being too critical, or is this a self protection issue, or what?

I swear, life is just so complicated sometimes.

Popcorn in bacon fat and an ice cold Yuengling

Put the beer in the freezer. Take 2-3 TBS of bacon fat, melt in a big pot. Tip the pot so that the fat runs in the corner, and add enough popcorn that the fat comes to the top of the popcorn pile. Cook on med, shaking occasionally, until the popping slows to once every 2 seconds. Add salt, pour into bowl, add more salt, take beer out of freezer, and enjoy!

I have been gardening all day. Tom worked like a little beaver, driving the tractor around, filling it up. I got pole beans with teepees made of fallen branches, cocoa rubeckio beans, and three kinds of lettuce planted, after I redug the area since the sod is desparately trying to return to it's former condition. I also started hoeing out the 50 yard bed along the streambed, which has been choked with leaves, sticks and last years weed stalks, and the lawn was strewn with pine cones and sticks. My hands are dry, rough and sore, and I am aching from all the work. But I got a bowl of popcorn and my second beer, so all is well. I have gotten several compliments from my students about how nice the property looks now that I have been weeding, edging and mulching.

I guess that leads me into tonight's musings. I have been criticized for my role as a stay at home mother from both sides. Mainly that I am not supporting my family, that I am selling out, that I am making my husband do all the work, and I just glide through life, or at least that I have more control of my time.

It is very important to my husband that the house looks good, and to me now too. We spent 10 years in a house that looked like a trailor, and we finally have a stunning 100 year old home on 5 acres, and both he and I are proud of it. When I do these things like take care of the landscaping, it makes him happy that our home looks so nice. I in effect thank him by taking good care of the things he has provided. It in turn takes care of him by giving him a warm, relaxing and beautiful place to be when he is done working. I am growing a large garden, will have fresh eggs in a month or so, and as soon as we move them from the wall of our house I will be a bee keeper. These things interest me, and provide fresh food for my family.

This leads me to my point. What makes one's life meaningful? Can anyone else define your life for you? I spent my childhood being raised that being a wife and mother were not enough. One had to be an individual, had to get out and make something of one's self. I spent the first half of my marraige trying to escape it, wanting 'me time,' wanting 'a life,' wanting 'more'. What I started seeing, either because of the men's movement or coincidentally, that being a wife and mother are an integral part of who I am. There is no separate me, I am not compartmentalized. I am a mixure of everything, and to try and separate out the me is to miss the point.

So what has happened since I stopped trying to cut myself into slices? I am content with what I am doing, at the time I am doing it. If I am gaming with the kids, I enjoy it, if I am gardening, I enjoy it, if I am ironing...oh wait, I don't do that...if I am cleaning, I may not enjoy it but I am not resenting it. I do not wait to be myself until I am alone. I am myself every minute. With my husband, with my kids, with the dogs, whenever. The funny thing is, since I stopped trying to find my identity, stopped trying to make time for myself, I have discovered that I really like who I am, that I have moments every day in which to have time. I feel fulfilled creating a home for my husband and children and finding things which make me happy. Funny how that works.

This is my biggest gripe with feminism. The original feminists wanted equality. The right to vote, the right to own land, the right to protect yourself from divorce. While they may not have been saints, what they were fighting for was more or less legit.

Gender feminism, or the 60's variety, has destroyed women's identity in an attempt for ... i don't know... power, victimhood, sorority? I recommend Spin Sisters and Who Stole Feminism for an in depth look at the legacy of gender feminism. We are told we must have this, that and the other thing, we must have freedom and choices and respect and jobs and in the attempt to gain these things we must hate men and not trust the patriarchy, we must trust them, the gender feminists, we must have solidarity, every man may be a rapist, we are victims, we make less money, are abused more, at risk more, we lose ourselves when we marry or have kids, marraige is a trap, a prison..AHHH ( think High Anxiety spiral and intense music.)

Well, guess what. Marraige is what you make if it. Life is what you make of it. I for one am not about to let anyone tell me how to live my life. If people would just use their brains. This isn't a gender issue. It is a human issue. THINK!

Gender feminism to me it the end of demanding that people use their minds. Feminism, like any social fabrication, depends on people accepting the status quo and not challanging it. That is why it cannot stand up to debate. It must make up reasons to discreadit the debate process (logic is a male construct) because under debate it collapses.

So the moral of the story? Put two beers in the freezer.

Rhubarb Crumble

Screw the entre, lets move straight to dessert!What happened today? Got all the mulch spread, started to weed out veggie garden, planted paste tomatoes and 8 ball zukes, mulched peas and potatoes. Tom was a huge help, and Nick chipped in when he got home from school. Other than the bickering, all went pretty good. Oh, but Nick was driving Tom in the wagon on the back of the tractor, and he pulled the pin holding the wagon flat and dumped Tom on the ground. Poor little guy had a bruised bum from that, and Nick almost did too! Unfortunately, smacking bums is not something I have ever done and I don't plan to start now. SO we made rhubarb crumble for dessert and Tom felt much better. He loves his food, that one.

I have been thinking about cycles. Not motercycles, but those cycles you get into with people you are around for a long time. You feed off each other, one thing starts it, then the chain of behavior just plays out, the same each time. It is like a dance, as my friend R says. How do you break it? Does it matter who starts it? I have certain cycles with my mother, and I try very hard to break them. I try to come up with responses which break the cycle, make her think and invite dialog, or at least get her to stop!

SO with my own son, am I the one holding the cycles? I feel like if he would just stop harping on his brother the cycle could be broken, I wouldn't have to step in, but he is 14. Is there something I can do to stop it even though I am not the one starting it? Or am I starting it by stepping in, and if I could ignore it that alone would break the cycle.Will it hurt the younger one for me to stay out of it and not defend him?

Why is it that kids make you choose? Why can't you just love both of them and have them happy with that? Why is it the one who is the most insecure pushes you away the most?

Where is my manual!?

Green Salad with the extras

Ok, I guess this is what the blog is for, to just write what is going on. I just had several clients leave, a golden and yellow lab puppies, and a Brittany. Typical me, the golden puppy is the perfect dog, obeys, is calm, gentle, and restrained, but boring. I love the lab, a little pistol! I tried to talk her into flyball, but I don't think the owners are sports people. And the Brittany is coming out of her shell, she is starting to offer behaviors which two weeks ago she was scared to try. It is very rewarding seeing the dogs blossom.

Dave is off at school, so I am bored! I suppose I should train my dogs, the little rips, but I am tired now and just want to veg.

I started rereading Who Stole Feminism by Christina Hoff-Sommers. She questions the idea of a patriarchy, that men are out there just to hold women down. She notes that the women who claim to be as oppressed as slaves, as bound as arab women, and as abused by the system as rape victims, are all white, upper class, college educated, tenured professors at prominant universities. Pretty much the safest, most pampered, successful women in the country. Yet they are sent into waves of panic by a whistle on the street. I would have to ask, as a woman who has every choice, every option I wish to take, what am I supposed to be afraid of? Who is oppressing me? And I also have to ask, if I as a masculist feel safe and secure, happy, proud of who I am and what I stand for, and undeterred by criticism, but as a feminist I would feel oppressed, scared and victimized, why on earth would I pick the latter? I think it is all a matter of how you veiw life. If women today choose to see the world through feminist eyes, they will remain scared victims. If they choose to look at reality, they will see that they have life however they choose to have it.

The reason many do choose to be feminist is that there is a lot of power to be had in victimhood. Sisterhood, solidarity, political or emotional pep rallies are all social benifits. Guilting the men and society in general into getting more and more perks are another benefit. When is the last time you saw a pep rally for men to thump their chests and yell "three cheers for the patriarchy! Hip Hip Horray!" Yet every day there are take back the night rallies, or patriarchy slams, or monologues, or public forums, or women's studies classes. Everyday women are banding together getting emotional highs from being victims. As much as feminists claim there is a patriarchy, I have yet to hear of a meeting. More and more any chance of men meeting alone is even more improbable, as women seem highly offended at the thought of men having men only space.

As much power as victimhood brings, I cannot do what is wrong just to get perks. I do not believe in relative morality. We are not more special, or more natural, or better than men. It is time we stop trying to be, and just start being women, the opposite sex of men, no better or worse.

The Appetizer

Well, here it is, the Biscuit Blog. Any bloggers who complain I have invaded your space with my debating, (overopinionated.com, Trish Wilson, etc) please feel free to come here and invade mine. The rules are basic for debate-no personal attacks, stay on topic, and keep the swearing down to a dull roar. Other than that, I love good debate.

I am Jen, aka The Biscuit Queen. I have an awesome husband, Dave, an electrical engineer, and two really great kids. Tom, 9 is into into pre-gunpowder battles, Greek and Roman history, weapons, etc and Nick 14, is into machines, cars, trucks, slamming, rims, you get the drift . I stay home with Tom homeschooling, and also run a dog training business. Usually I compete in agility, but due to a bad sprain on my way to dog camp I am out of commission this season. I have 3 dogs (a dal/whippet, beagle/lab, and a bull terrier), 2 cats (siamese and barn cat), two fish tanks, a 125 gal terrarium (2 frogs, 2 newts, fish, a turtle and a foot long millipede) and 5 chickens (3 polish and two banties.) We have killed out tv for one year mothers day, the best decision we ever made!

Things of interest to me in no particular order-dogs (training, sports, BSL), chickens, gaming (Ars Magica and Shadowrun) Half Life 2, cooking, gardening, kids, music, bird watching, insects, hiking with hubby, mushrooms (the non-psychidellic varieties,) 1st gen muscle cars(69 Camaro is my next car) and I am sure I will come up with more. I am an insatiably curious person.

My favorite topic of debate, which I separate from above because it is more than a hobby or interest to me is men's activism. Topics like family court, education, the wage gap myth, and others are interesting to debate. I will probably post a couple of starter threads in the next few days.I have never run a blog before. I guess it is sort of like a linked daily journal? I don't know. If you have a blog I might be interested in or you would like to link to please post it. I will figure out how to get it.

A big howdy to anyone from Stand your Ground who stops on by.