Pie crust
1 cups flour (half white and half whole wheat works)
1/4 tsp salt
cut in 1/3 cup plus 1 TBS lard, shortening or margarine
add in ice cold water a TBS at a time until dough forms a ball but is not hard.
Filling
1/2 onion, minced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 TBS olive oil
1/2 tsp fresh ginger or 1/4 tsp dried
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tumeric
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1/4 tsp mustard powder
2 TBS water or stock
One large sweet potato cooked and mashed
1/2 cup cut green beans
Fry onion and garlic in oil, add in rest of ingredients, and cook 4-5 minutes on medium. Roll out 4 circles from pastry, and divide the filling among them. Use water on your finger to wet the edge of half of each circle, then fold dough over filling (the water will seal the dough together) and press the edge of the half circle with a fork all the way around. It will look like a big pierogi. Place on a baking tray, poke once with a fork, and glaze with milk or egg if you wish. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.
I always double this recipe, for it seems to not be enough for my family. I also have made these small, cutting the pie crust with a biscuit cutter and taken them to parties as a finger food and they are a huge hit, especially with some chutney to dip them in.
******
I have been thinking a lot about post marital sex. I swear it just kept coming up all weekend, how women just don't want sex after marriage, and men still do. Quite frankly it was pissing me off. It is a real problem, yet everyone seems to joke about it. Men tend to be flippant and dismissive about it, probably as a knee jerk reaction to the rejection they must feel. At the same time, women feel guilty and sad for the loss of something they once thought of as thrilling and special, and grumpy at the thought of being pressured.
It is a viscious cycle. The more we are pressured through jokes and guilt trips the less we feel like having sex, the more work is needed to get in the mood. The less we feel like having sex the more men feel rejected and the more flippant and blaming they get, and the less they try to get sex.
What is it that changed?
I do know that for many women the thing they like about the sexual expirience is the process. I used to tell my husband that the best forplay is a man doing the dishes. Women need to connect on an emotional level before they feel like having sex. They like the dance, the looks, the brief touches, the doing things for one another before they are in the mood. Men are the opposite. They use sex to feel close. Have sex with a man and you will find the man you are emotionally attracted to. When men have regular sex they feel connected and show it.
The disconnect comes when the sex slows for any reason, usually a baby. For a while the woman is fat, uncomfortable, and obsessed with motherhood. After the baby is born, the woman is no longer a woman, she is a mom. I cannot stress the change which occurs with this. It is vital it occurs to some extent for the child's sake, yet it is also vital the woman can go back to being a woman for the marriage's sake.
SO the disconnect happens. This is what happened in all the marriages I have seen. Husband gets home from work. The first thing he says is business like, "someone left something in the driveway" because if he doesn't say it then he will forget. She is now in defensive mode, the interaction has been set. Dinner is served, husband needs to go unwind, wife needs to get away from children, more disconnect. Kids go to bed.
Man may now be ready for sex. But the woman is in mom mode, and has not connected with the husband all day. She has no interest in sex.
I guess the ideal solution would be to just do it. Once started the problem takes care of itself. Unfortunately the men very often stop even trying at this point. Rejection is not easy to take, especially sexual rejection from your partner.
So she is not in the mood, he cannot take the extra step to start the process, both are tired, so they go to sleep.
Days go by. Weeks, months. That is life. We don't even see them slide by until we try to think when the last time we actually fooled around was.
It is heartbreaking. The most special thing two people can share, sitting right there for the taking, and we cannot reach out.
Add in the media constantly trying to fear monger and make us resentful of men, and you get a recipe for divorce.
We fear and covet sex. We label it evil and worship it at the same time. The dicotomy is such that a sexual woman and a married woman are incompatible. How many women cut their hair shortly after marriage? My friend just got married and chopped off her hair on the honeymoon. I guaruntee that she has no idea why she did it. But we are taught that once married, women must grow out of that dating sexual phase. Long hair is sexually attractive, and one of the easiest ways to visably change is to cut your hair.
I have other ideas on this, but they will have to wait for another day.
This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
3 years ago
9 comments:
Your recipe sounds yummy. My favorite pastries are the Greek style ones with spinach and sauteed onion and garlic and feta cheese (or parmesan in a pinch), but I may have to try these. Green beans are really cheap in the summer time and I always buy a lot of them but after steaming them with potatoes or making green bean casserole I'm usually out of ideas for what to do with them.
So true about the difficulties of sex after having kids. I love the dance, too, but it's hard to work it into a busy schedule. What we usually end up doing is the "quickie" scenario during the week (while the kids watch a video for a little while), then we save the wine and foreplay and all that good stuff for weekend evenings after the kids go to bed.
And yeah, what you said about the haircutting. I didn't know that was a post-wedding thing--I always thought it was a post-child thing. I mean, after I had a child and had my hair grabbed and pulled umpteen times I even thought about doing it myself. But I've hung onto my shoulder-length hair so far, because, you're right, it IS sexy. In fact, I never met a man in my whole life (and I dated MANY) who didn't prefer it. I can always wear a ponytail during the day.
DH reciprocates too, as much as he can. He has a gorgeous head of brown hair and he knows I like it a bit long, and although he prefers it very short he lets it grow out as much as possible (professionally speaking) between haircuts. What's with these buzz-cuts these days? I think they're awful.
Anne
my goodness this recipe for the greenbean and sweetpotato pasties looks fantastic!
i'm really excited to try it!
and thanks for visiting my blog, too, by the way.
as for the post marital sex thing goes, it's a topic i've given quite a lot of thought. for me, things seem to be going the other way. i feel like i'm blossoming and becoming more relaxed and willing and openhearted/bodied (if that makes any sense), while his interest is tapering off.
while it's a drag to be brushed off, i think we need to be careful about having too many ideas around how much sex we're "supposed" to be having. if you don't feel like you're getting enough, you're not getting enough, but it might not be of what you think it is. i think we, as a group, can be a little orgasm obsessed, and have reduced sex to junkfood because of it. i have suspicions that if more of us were having deeply juicy intimate moments (whether sexual or not) we'd need sex less often than we think we do, and we'd enjoy what we had more.
I love all your recipes!!!
You are the COOK!
I know you don't like the jokes about post-marital sex. I laughed because I related to it and realized (even though I know this)again that we're not the only one that suffers with this issue. It's good to hear that other people have the same problem. It makes it seem more managable. Look at the people in AA. A large part of that is the sharing of stories and that is so you don't feel alone...granted, not all stories are laughable, but some can be. Part of the angst I have with the laughing about it is because we witness (friends, family, media) people using it like a tool. They are making jokes about it in order to hurt the spouse. Jabs, barbs, etc...the jokes are used as a way to sting about something (usually) unrelated to sex. THAT is the stuff I can do without...though we ALL know people that are like that. It's inevitable. I just feel sorry for the couples that can't solve their problems any other way.
As for the quickie...I think that the quickie is a good idea...my husband doesn't like them at all, but I have convinced him that as long as they are not the only way we do it, its ok. My other theory (this is only MY theory) is that a quickie sets the stage for later! The idea being that the testosterone that is deposited and is quasi-absorbed by the female acts to encourage her emotions in the right direction later on-or that it takes the place of a lack of testosterone that is needed to egg-on libido. I've heard from a number of places that if you have a lack of libido, that you should have your testosterone levels checked. I did. Unfortunately, it was not the source of my problem. I felt guilty looking for a "quick" solution to my problem, but reasoned it away quickly by realizing that my intimacy with my beloved spouse was FAR more important. No sucessful marriges have a LACK of sex! Onward to the solution!!!!!
Actually, the recently married friend we have in common had decided before the wedding to get a "trim" and had announced that to her betrothed. Unfortunately for her, and many like her with the wicked curly hair, very few people know how to cut it properly without whacking more off than was intended. Her hair has a mind of its own. Oh, well...it still looks really cute.
PS-My husband prefers my hair short, but I have grown it because it was easy (it has NEVER been easy, so I'm thinking that someone's trying to tell me something!) and I feel sexier with something to swish! Also...you can do SO much more with long hair!!!
As an addition...
I was thinking about all the things in society that exist and how they are displaced...like the dissing the spouse on sex when you're really pissed about something else that you didn't tell him about and why can't he just read the pissed look on your face and figure it out? Answer...not even the best mind readers can figure it out...speak up!!!!
anyways...my way of organizing is "a place for everything and everything in its place." Life issues are like the multidrawer box organizer that your eldest has in his room... many little compartments for different things. If we don't put things in the right compartments, then we end up with things in the wrong box, can't find them when we need them, or a huge pile outside the organizer because we can't figure out which one it goes in...chaos! I know it's a simplistic way of looking at it, but I do that in order to deal with the enormity of it all. So that's how I feel about displaced emotions--Lord help me, I'm trying to teach my children to NOT do what I did for the first 30 or so years!!!
The main problem with sex before marriage is that it can make you late for the ceremony.
:-)
Hey BQ, where are you? I miss your posts. Is everything going OK with you?
Anne
I'm looking for new canning recipes... Nice blog...
"Talking about hair. Don't you think that a man with a nice mop of well kept hair is a great asset?
I've been trying to tell my husband that for years as my mother tried to do with my father but a short back and sides is so off-putting when you know what they've cut off!"
Agree 100%, Jules. Same with me and my DH. It's funny how the guys with the greatest hair are always the most eager to cut it down to the scalp, and the guys with the receding hairlines would love to be so lucky!
Oops, sorry that was me.
Anne
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