Put the beer in the freezer. Take 2-3 TBS of bacon fat, melt in a big pot. Tip the pot so that the fat runs in the corner, and add enough popcorn that the fat comes to the top of the popcorn pile. Cook on med, shaking occasionally, until the popping slows to once every 2 seconds. Add salt, pour into bowl, add more salt, take beer out of freezer, and enjoy!
I have been gardening all day. Tom worked like a little beaver, driving the tractor around, filling it up. I got pole beans with teepees made of fallen branches, cocoa rubeckio beans, and three kinds of lettuce planted, after I redug the area since the sod is desparately trying to return to it's former condition. I also started hoeing out the 50 yard bed along the streambed, which has been choked with leaves, sticks and last years weed stalks, and the lawn was strewn with pine cones and sticks. My hands are dry, rough and sore, and I am aching from all the work. But I got a bowl of popcorn and my second beer, so all is well. I have gotten several compliments from my students about how nice the property looks now that I have been weeding, edging and mulching.
I guess that leads me into tonight's musings. I have been criticized for my role as a stay at home mother from both sides. Mainly that I am not supporting my family, that I am selling out, that I am making my husband do all the work, and I just glide through life, or at least that I have more control of my time.
It is very important to my husband that the house looks good, and to me now too. We spent 10 years in a house that looked like a trailor, and we finally have a stunning 100 year old home on 5 acres, and both he and I are proud of it. When I do these things like take care of the landscaping, it makes him happy that our home looks so nice. I in effect thank him by taking good care of the things he has provided. It in turn takes care of him by giving him a warm, relaxing and beautiful place to be when he is done working. I am growing a large garden, will have fresh eggs in a month or so, and as soon as we move them from the wall of our house I will be a bee keeper. These things interest me, and provide fresh food for my family.
This leads me to my point. What makes one's life meaningful? Can anyone else define your life for you? I spent my childhood being raised that being a wife and mother were not enough. One had to be an individual, had to get out and make something of one's self. I spent the first half of my marraige trying to escape it, wanting 'me time,' wanting 'a life,' wanting 'more'. What I started seeing, either because of the men's movement or coincidentally, that being a wife and mother are an integral part of who I am. There is no separate me, I am not compartmentalized. I am a mixure of everything, and to try and separate out the me is to miss the point.
So what has happened since I stopped trying to cut myself into slices? I am content with what I am doing, at the time I am doing it. If I am gaming with the kids, I enjoy it, if I am gardening, I enjoy it, if I am ironing...oh wait, I don't do that...if I am cleaning, I may not enjoy it but I am not resenting it. I do not wait to be myself until I am alone. I am myself every minute. With my husband, with my kids, with the dogs, whenever. The funny thing is, since I stopped trying to find my identity, stopped trying to make time for myself, I have discovered that I really like who I am, that I have moments every day in which to have time. I feel fulfilled creating a home for my husband and children and finding things which make me happy. Funny how that works.
This is my biggest gripe with feminism. The original feminists wanted equality. The right to vote, the right to own land, the right to protect yourself from divorce. While they may not have been saints, what they were fighting for was more or less legit.
Gender feminism, or the 60's variety, has destroyed women's identity in an attempt for ... i don't know... power, victimhood, sorority? I recommend Spin Sisters and Who Stole Feminism for an in depth look at the legacy of gender feminism. We are told we must have this, that and the other thing, we must have freedom and choices and respect and jobs and in the attempt to gain these things we must hate men and not trust the patriarchy, we must trust them, the gender feminists, we must have solidarity, every man may be a rapist, we are victims, we make less money, are abused more, at risk more, we lose ourselves when we marry or have kids, marraige is a trap, a prison..AHHH ( think High Anxiety spiral and intense music.)
Well, guess what. Marraige is what you make if it. Life is what you make of it. I for one am not about to let anyone tell me how to live my life. If people would just use their brains. This isn't a gender issue. It is a human issue. THINK!
Gender feminism to me it the end of demanding that people use their minds. Feminism, like any social fabrication, depends on people accepting the status quo and not challanging it. That is why it cannot stand up to debate. It must make up reasons to discreadit the debate process (logic is a male construct) because under debate it collapses.
So the moral of the story? Put two beers in the freezer.
This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
3 years ago
16 comments:
"Put the beer in the freezer. Take 2-3 TBS of bacon fat, melt in a big pot. Tip the pot so that the fat runs in the corner, and add enough popcorn that the fat comes to the top of the popcorn pile. Cook on med, shaking occasionally, until the popping slows to once every 2 seconds. Add salt, pour into bowl, add more salt, take beer out of freezer, and enjoy!"Who said popcorn had to be non-fattening.
and as soon as we move them from the wall of our house I will be a bee keeper. Bee keeper? Bees in the walls?? Yikes
You made some good points about marriage, feminism,and life.
I think the moral of your story is that you cannot let other people define you.
Many women of other generations made their husbands, home and children their career and were very content with doing this...I didn't get my college degree until I was well into my 40s because I never planned on doing anything OTHER then caring for my family as my career.
I never knew I would NEED a college degree...and plenty of OTHER women of my age group didn't know it either, we were the first group of women impacted by BOTH feminism and Hugh Hefner...You can imagine our disappointment after planning our weddings since junior high (Oddly enough I did read somewhere that little girls today appear to start planning their weddings from about the age of 7 or so and I know my granddaughter 9 is very interested in wedding magazines, everytime we pass a newsstand she stops to examine them)...
Anyway, it is NOT just feminism that discourages women from planning their life around their families any longer, it is also men who no longer wish it...
Quite frankly, many men (since about the time of Hugh Hefner) do NOT wish to support this lifestyle any longer. They wish women to contribute to the support of the household; so that men do NOT have to work so hard. Women can just use childcare and scramble around at night, after work, to do all the household chores, that's the rationale (thus these 2/3 hour assessments coming up all the time).
Actually this is a big reason women give for divorce. That they have to do everything: work and pay bills, bear the kids, raise the kids, shop, cook, clean, plan birthdays, holidays, take care of pets, doctors visits for everyone...the list is just endless...so as many women finally say, including myself, what the heck do I need you for...I'm doing everything by myself anyway...
Fortunately you've been lucky... you are able to do what many women would love to do stay home and raise their children and there has been no downside yet, except for the verbal attacks by jealous MRAs...
I think eventually when your youngest is older, you might want to plan some sort of career however...
Actually my oldest daughter works with a restaurant as a Controller and you would be surprised how many high paying jobs are in that field...Chefs (even pastry chefs) make very competitive wages...Anywhere from $40,000 to $100,000...General managers about the same. Bartenders and floor
managers slightly less...
People are really into eating out here in the city (I guess since women work, few cook anymore) so someone who knows how to cook or anything related to food anymore can get a fairly decent job either at a restaurant or even a hotel...
So keep that in mind for future reference...
Aww, shucks, she's doing something for Memorial Day weekend and we're left fending for ourselves.
I envy you your lifestyle, BQ... I'm low income and live in the city. Too few fresh veggies for me (they've gotten too expensive). I found some pages with food images you might like if you're going to be discussing food all the time. The graphic they use for english muffin (p.2) would also pass for a biscuit...
Food 1
Food 2
Food 3
nymom, you wouldn't be trying to prep her for divorce would you... She seems blessed with the lifestyle she has.
This is so cool, I didn't think I would have anyone stop by already! Thank you!
suomynona~
Yes, I have bees in the walls, I have been studying bees and my uncle will help me move them. I have joined the local bee association, and am very excited to start harvesting honey in the fall. We have a pic of the bees as they flew in last summer on the roof, and they chose to stay. They cannot get in the house, btw, or I wouldn't be so keen on them, I think!
The icons look really cool, I will try to figure out how to use them tomorrow when I am not so tired. My 14 year old can show me how, the little genius. Do you have a south facing window which gets good light?
NYMOM~ You are right. That was my 'moral', or I would say my conclusion, since I do not really plan what I write, it just comes out and ends where it does.
I have some college credits, and my husband supports me going, it is just finding the time and money. I do have a business in dog training, and have flown across the country to dog camps, and teach at home. I just do not let it get in front of my family.
I never really planned my wedding young, other than wanting it outside on horseback (ended up a catholic church wedding, go figure!) I am not sure what I think about young girls planning their weddings that early, I would have to think on it.
I do see men not wanting the traditional life, I am not sure I buy into your reasons for it. When I speak with men, the main reason for not wanting a SAHM is that it locks the husband into a place of no legal power if something goes wrong. He will not only be expected to pay a hefty child support order and have virtually no chance of shared parenting, but he will likely also have to pay all lawyers fees and alimony as well as lose his home. While some men avoid for your reasons, and some men get custody, the majority, I believe 70%-80%, do not.
I have made a sort of informal study of women and their housekeeping habits, including my own. There is a huge amount of power in controlling the home. Many women I know complain that their husbands do not help, yet will not let them help, or micromanage the way it is done and criticize until the man drops out. I did this to my own husband for years. We finally agreed on this. I can choose to have him do it, or I can choose how it is done. NOT both.
The job opportunities sound cool! I am actually mulling over a dog friendly B&B when the kids are in college, which will be run with my husband.
Terry, Thanks. I can understand NYMOMs position, she does not know my husband, so is concerned for me that I am putting all my eggs in one basket. It never hurts to look ahead and see possibilities. God forbid something happen to my husband like a car crash.
I do feel like I am blessed. All I can do is be thankful for it, and that I am.
Hi, Biscuit Queen. I remember you from your visit at Trish's blog. That was a very strange time at Trish's. I couldn't quite see why you were banned, as you appeared to be quite reasonable--just as much so as Masculiste or any other opposition poster over there--except for the fact that you were from SYG. Oh well, I like your new site. Great pasta recipe above, too.
Interesting musings on marriage. I'm also a SAHM at the present time and I've encountered that same attitude you speak of, that I let my husband do all of the work while I glide along, etc. But I look at caring for the home and the kids and stretching his income as my current job and take it just as seriously as I previously took my career. I suspect that those who sneer at a full-time parent's responsibilities have never done it themselves. But I am lucky to have a husband who takes as full a share as possible in childcare when he is here, and sees the benefit of the kids being with one of us during the day instead of with sitters. I once asked him if I was actually stressing him by being at home instead of bringing in a second income, and he said he would be more stressed if we had to leave our kids with others.
Great blog. I'll be checking back regularly for some of your ideas and recipes. Good job with your gardening and beekeeping and such. I'm making efforts in that direction myself, although I'm clueless about gardening. Maybe a few tomato plants to begin with...
Anne
No Terry, actually I'm trying to prep her to leaving SYG and having her own blog, places that aren't composed entirely of feminists of either NOW or ifeminist persuasion, but yet where women can post w/o being insulted.
I don't think women should give background cover to men who insult women with comments like this:
_________________
"For the record, I love about FIVE percent of the women in this world. That is my guess as to how many of them are actually sanitary creatures, meaning they don't have stinky twats and are not fat or lazy or manipulative or ripe with female cancers. Also, only about five percent have any real creative energy."
You see what I'm talking about...Why should women support places that allow men to say things like that about them...it's as bad as these Islamic prisoners who the most horrible torture in the world to them is being touched by menstrual blood...
Please...
Menstrual blood is part of the whole process that brings forth life...This mindset of it being dirty and unsanitary explains why men hate being around women in childbirth and will only touch babies after they are cleaned up...
All of the natural life-giving processes that are connected with women's bodies they think of us dirty...
I do agree there are a few on SYG which are not really decent folk. However, if you go back and look, anytime someone spouts like that there are many who disagree, if Dr E doesn't warn the poster first. Just like any gathering of people, you will always have a few nuts.
I disagree that men are grossed out by women that they are disgusted by childbirth. Men often are not allowed to touch a baby before it is cleaned up. In my expirience, we had Tom in a birthing center. The midwife put him on my chest, then no one but Dave or I held him for an hour. Dave took him over and weighed him, cleaned him up, and put him in the hot tub with me. It was amazing. If men as a whole were given access they would rise to the challenge.
As for periods, I am more grossed out than Dave is. It is messy and gross. Natural, yes, but so is diarrhea, barf, and pimples. Doesn't mean they are pretty.
Anne, Tomatoes are great to start with. You can grow them in a pot on the patio if you like, and they are resistant to pests like rabbits and woodchucks. Planting basil next to them also prevents some diseases and provides extra fresh yumminess.
We all pick our groups to hang with, even if they don't make much sense to others. Trish's site felt way more hostile to me than syg. But then I came in opposing which doesn't start you off right.
"We all pick our groups to hang with, even if they don't make much sense to others. Trish's site felt way more hostile to me than syg. But then I came in opposing which doesn't start you off right."
You just came at a bad time where a lot of MRAs were attacking her blog over that whole VAWA issue...
I actually don't post so much there anymore either, since there's a little too much focus there on the issue of domestic violence...but Trish, like you when she's not writing about DV, is also into cooking, cats, science fiction, computer games, etc.,...
If you had posted at another time, you would have seen a different side to her and her blog...
However I have to say that I never noticed her allowing the level of hostility against men that I noticed is allowed against women at SYG...I mean that comment from Bender about women, Trish would never have allowed a woman to make a comment like that about men on her site.
At least I've never seen it...
Regarding men and childbirth...well I came from a different time I'm somewhat older then you and men were just starting to be allowed into delivery rooms then...and of course many didn't want to be there and did everything they could to get out of it...
My ex-husband left me at the hosital at 5:00 in the morning and didnt' come back until 6:00 at night, well after our daughter was born...the nurse called him all day to urge him to come down and he just finally refused to come to the telephone anymore claiming he had to supervise the installation of windows in the building that day (he was a building manager of a large apartment building at that time)...
Many men do make negative comments about women menstral cycle however and are very disgusted by everything to do with it including child birth...Bender's comment strikes me as part of that whole pathology of men feeling that way...including my own ex-husband...but maybe yours was different...
I just don't think it's healthy or conductive to women feeling good about themselves to see remarks like that everytime they post...I know the argument will be well it's a site for men so they don't care; but you don't make yourself whole, healthy or strong by attacking others...
Just my opinion, I'm sure others feel differently...
"Interesting musings on marriage. I'm also a SAHM at the present time and I've encountered that same attitude you speak of, that I let my husband do all of the work while I glide along, etc. But I look at caring for the home and the kids and stretching his income as my current job and take it just as seriously as I previously took my career. I suspect that those who sneer at a full-time parent's responsibilities have never done it themselves."
I missed when you said this before...but I think you are very right in this observation...I was reading a book recently by a woman who was describing her stay at home mother experience and she mentioned each meal for her children taking WELL over an hour and 1/2 between preparation and introducing different foods to her children to eat (and making sure they tried these differing foods).
Remember you are preparing children to eat a life-long healthy diet(hopefully)...and are introducing them to vegetables/fruits as new tastes for the FIRST time in their lives...and it's a job...
Since I have more children around these days now as my granddaughter's friends visit with her when she's here, it amazes me how many childrn eat ONLY corn from the family of vegetables...I mean corn is good, but it's sweet tasting, starchy and not really the BEST of the vegetables to hook kids on...and every meal can be cereal and milk for them, (they are fine with it)...
I spent much time introducing my children during meals and snacktime to fruits (peaches, apples, grapes, grapefruit even, oranges) and vegetables (peas, carrots, spinach, broccoli, turnips, string beans)...
I mean if YOU do NOT introduce your kids to these foods, they might NEVER eat them...and go their whole lives with a limited diet of sweet or starchy foods as I read somewhere, the human palate is naturally attracted to sweeter/starchy foods...it takes time to get kids to accept differing tastes...Your babysitter or daycare center is NOT going to bother doing this...if your kids ONLY wants to eat sweet cereal with milk for EVERY meal and ONLY mashed potatoes and corn as vegetables, guess what, that will be their diet for the time they are in someone else's care since NO one else is going to spend time like this introducing a young child to differing foods...
So this important point in raising children is frequently overlooked today...
Oh, I hear you there, NYMOM. Feeding the children has been by far the most difficult part of stay-at-home parenting. My son was the most difficult child you ever saw when it came to food. He literally did not want ANYTHING to eat except cheese and cheerios for the first two years of his life. Feeding him a balanced meal was a chore that took enormous amounts of time and patience and a whole repetoire of distractions. For some reason we have never figured out he also had a very hard time learning to chew and swallow soft but lumpy foods. He would frequently gag and then vomit his whole meal, and would of course have to be re-fed. He did not completely stop eating baby foods until he was well over two. I can just see him in daycare--he probably would have eaten nothing all day. My daughter is a much better eater but every now and then will go thru a stubborn phase of holding food in her mouth forever and not chewing or swallowing it. I challenge anyone who thinks stay-at-home parenting is an easy cop-out to try feeding a total of six HEALTHY AND BALANCED meals a day (plus the extensive clean-up afterwards), changing diapers, refereeing squabbles, mopping and vacuuming floors at a pace that can keep up with the never-ending crumbs and spills, getting laundry done and folded faster than the kids can grab it and scatter it, and above all cooking a decent dinner while having to stop every few minutes or so to attend to the kids who are everywhere at once and reaching for everything on your kitchen counters...and so on and so forth. And you are so right about the work day never ending--that's the main thing I miss about my childfree days. I once pointed out that very fact to friends of ours who were considering adopting a baby...the last I heard they had scrapped the plan. LOL. But better to know the facts before than after, I guess.
Anne
Also remember they have to have outdoor play everyday too...I took my daughter out for between two to four hours a day (frequently more as sometimes I would stroll her through the park at her nap time and then sit in a quiet area with her until she woke)...
Everyone told me I would have so much time on my hands being home with her but I didn't...I still found myself hustling around doing chores at night when she was asleep so that they didn't remain for the next day, when I had to devote my quality awake time to her...
People don't seem to grasp that it's two differing functions, housekeeping and bringing up baby...
You can combine parts of them but not everything.
Anyway, no one I know who hired someone as a nanny also made them do housework since they didn't want their kids ignored all day or plopped in front of a TV set while the 'nanny' cleaned up the house or did laundry...
So your time has to be carefully planned being a stay-at-home mom as well and a lot of the daytime hours HAVE to be devoted to the child...not doing chores while they sit in a playpen for hours on end...or in front of a tv set...
As anybody knows who has actually done this for a while, you plan a schedule and pretty much stick with it...breakfast, bath/dressing, park lunch, nap, (get some chores in here) then up again and park or indoor play with them...dinner, bath/bed (hopefully) (get some chores in here)...
I had (and I'm sure you do too now) very full days, even on weekends...
Yet I look back and am grateful I had the opportunity and think it was a good thing for the entire family that I did this...even the bread baking I enjoyed...Although now I buy it from the store...when I retire I'll start baking again MAYBE...
Yes, outdoor time is very important. I take them out for about an hour in the late morning, weather permitting, but most of their outdoor activity is late afternoon with their father, and after dinner with us both--all four of us need the fresh air and exercise.
As to the housekeeping, in some ways it's easier to get things done with two kids around than just one. When it was only my son and I at home all day he required a lot of attention--it was hard to get anything done. He would not have sat in a playpen for even five minutes, even if I had wanted to put him there (and neither would my daughter). But now he and his sister play pretty well together (with squabbles here and there) which gives me some chances to do chores.
But yes, there's a lot of planning and scheduling to it and the work day goes on well into the night. Weekends we do a minimum of housework because DH and I like to use that family time to go out and do some fun stuff so I just let the dishes and laundry pile up. Makes for a very busy Monday, but it's worth it.
And I'm grateful that we're able to do things this way, too. I'm sure your daughters benefitted enormously from the care and attention you obviously lavished on them. There's do doubt that the raising and the shaping of children into good and responsible adults is some of the hardest but most rewarding work there is.
Anne
"There's do doubt that the raising and the shaping of children into good and responsible adults is some of the hardest but most rewarding work there is."
YET so many people denigrate it today like if you are not bringing in money to the family, you're not pulling your share or something...
It's sad really for the adults and the kids as they miss a lot when the mothers rush back to work like that and hire outside help to raise their kids...Everybody I know practically now has gone back to full-time work after 3 months leave ONLY...so the kids are with sitters ALL DAY...from the age of 3 months...
I mean I have to say, why bother even having kids if you're going to do that????
It's odd...
Yeah, I have had to deal with this a lot too. Right now I am putting in a huge garden, I am out there for hours a day. Of course we had fresh spinach last night for dinner, so anyone complaining it is not benifitting my family is niave.
My kids love to eat. They eat all sorts of ethnic foods, spicy, lots of veggies. I have been very lucky in some ways, but I also attribute it to my position on dinners and my passion for cooking. I put food out, and you do not get alternatives. If I make something new, I make sure there is also food they like just in case they do not like it(if I make a new soup there is also salad and bread.) I never make a fuss over eating. If they are hungry they will eat, if not they won't. They will not starve. While I see that there are truly picky eaters, they are rare.
But it really is none of my business how other people handle it.
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