Screw the entre, lets move straight to dessert!What happened today? Got all the mulch spread, started to weed out veggie garden, planted paste tomatoes and 8 ball zukes, mulched peas and potatoes. Tom was a huge help, and Nick chipped in when he got home from school. Other than the bickering, all went pretty good. Oh, but Nick was driving Tom in the wagon on the back of the tractor, and he pulled the pin holding the wagon flat and dumped Tom on the ground. Poor little guy had a bruised bum from that, and Nick almost did too! Unfortunately, smacking bums is not something I have ever done and I don't plan to start now. SO we made rhubarb crumble for dessert and Tom felt much better. He loves his food, that one.
I have been thinking about cycles. Not motercycles, but those cycles you get into with people you are around for a long time. You feed off each other, one thing starts it, then the chain of behavior just plays out, the same each time. It is like a dance, as my friend R says. How do you break it? Does it matter who starts it? I have certain cycles with my mother, and I try very hard to break them. I try to come up with responses which break the cycle, make her think and invite dialog, or at least get her to stop!
SO with my own son, am I the one holding the cycles? I feel like if he would just stop harping on his brother the cycle could be broken, I wouldn't have to step in, but he is 14. Is there something I can do to stop it even though I am not the one starting it? Or am I starting it by stepping in, and if I could ignore it that alone would break the cycle.Will it hurt the younger one for me to stay out of it and not defend him?
Why is it that kids make you choose? Why can't you just love both of them and have them happy with that? Why is it the one who is the most insecure pushes you away the most?
Where is my manual!?
This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
3 years ago
2 comments:
I started saying names of vegetables whenever Nick starts harping on Tom to me. "You know, Tom ....." Cabbage! Celery! Rhubarb!
Threw Nick off, but allowed the conversation to get back to its point minus the harping.
I am keeping my fingers crossed! Breakin them cycles!
Are you talking about physical or verbal confrontations with the brothers...Their seems to be a big difference in age between them so I would think that the oldest would be somewhat protective of the younger?
If not, you probably need to think about why...
Generally family dynamics amongst the adults are the reasons that siblings 'bully' each other, if that's not to strong a word for what goes on.
If it is bullying, then yes, you have a responsibility to find out the cause and address it...
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